'Live from Tubby's House - on tour (without Tubby)' online show on Mandolin.com.

Transcription of the chat between 'You've Got A Sweet Mouth On You Baby' and 'Antwoman' courtesy of Chris H

E: You like doing that one?
R: I love singing it with you! Especially that bit at the end, cause I never tell you we’re going to do it but you always get it.
E: I get there eventually, I try. Shall we do another one before I go join the chat?
R: Yeah, let me just mess around with the tuning.
(tunes)
R: A lot of stuff in E, chugging away here.
E: Mmm hmm.
R: Well I think we might have to do, it might be time for that one
E: Oh yeah, I like that one.
(RH elbow bumps curtain)
R: Did you hear that?
E: (used to this) It was the sound of you elbowing the curtains.
R: I was elbowing the curtains?
E: Mmm. It wasn’t a ghost.
R: No, it sounded too metallic to be a ghost.
E: Mmm.
R: Now this is a point of view so I have to meet a point, sorry Ceiling, I was pointing at the ceiling, it was rude of me. Um, Eef, a lot of people write in and say How do we know it’s a ghost? and I say if it’s a metallic sound, it probably isn’t.
E: Okay.
R: I don’t think you can be haunted by a metallic sound. As in Rose Marie, my one true love, I was haunted by her metallic sound. (laughs) It’s the kind of thing you might have got in Bob’s Burgers actually, just as a kind of side remark that someone would say.
E: Would you like to be haunted by a metallic sound?
R: (laughs) No, I’d like to be haunted by the sound of celery.
E: You could be haunted by Lou Reed’s Metallica album.
R: Oh GAWD I’d rather be haunted by Metal Machine Music.
E: Okay
R: That’s supposed to be so bad the Metallica album that nobody’s heard it. Whereas people would buy Metal Machine Music just say that they’d listened to all four sides.
E: Yeah but surely it’s going to have like a revisiting.
R: You mean it’s going to at some point be re-legitimized…
E: Yeah…
R: like Can of Bees…
E: …it takes about 20 years…
R: Yeah, yeah…
E: 20 years of people hating on it and then it becomes beloved.
R: So all we’ve got to do is do stuff that’s unpopular and sooner or later it’ll be…yeah.
E: Yeah.
R: OK.
E: Well, we’re definitely succeeding at that (Laughs)
R: Succeeding at that. Yeah, my God, right. yeah. I’ve met people who are popular.
E: Oh, that’s nice.
R: Well, they’re just going to die like everybody else, I feel sorry for them. They’ve got so much to lose.
E: Well Tubby’s popular!
R: Tubby’s only got one eye, he’s little. He’s so vulnerable, Tubby. That’s why he’s intensely naughty and Machiavellian and probably running the…god knows what he’s doing right now. Do you think he’s stealing Laura’s Fancy Feast…
E: Absolutely!
R: She’s doesn’t even know that’s what she’s supposed to be….
E: I think he’s playing your banjo.
R: Oh my God! They don’t know I’ve got a banjo! I was going to point at them just then.
E: (laughing) The Groovers know you’ve got a banjo!
R: Do they? I’ve never played it. How do they know that?
E: I think you probably tormented people with the banjo very early on in a quarantine show.
R: Did I?
E: That seems like something cruel you’d inflict on people who were already suffering through a pandemic.
R: Well give us 5 bucks and I’ll play the banjo at you (laughing)
E: (laughing) I’ll stop playing the banjo!
(laughter)
R: Oh God. If you had to think about a fish, which, what would it be?
E: A fish?
R: Yeah.
E: Ohhh…a trout.
R: Oh God, that’s so quick!
E: Yeah.
R: God you’re a quick trout thinker!
(laughter)
E: If you had to think about a fish, what would you think about?
R: Mackerel.
E: Mackerel??
R: And I hadn’t prepared that!
E: It just could be…
R: It was spontaneous.
(laughter)
R: I didn’t go in there saying I’m going to force you to ask me about a mackerel.
(Emma about to explode laughing)
R: About a mackerel.
(Emma dies laughing)
R: What’s that guy
E: Could that be a memoir?
(Robyn cackling too)
R: Who’s that…Nick Hornby. Nick Hornby?
E: If you’d been Nick Hornby, it would have been About A Mackerel!
(laughter)
R: And nobody would have bought it! It wouldn’t have been a movie! And the whole thing - Ewan MacGregor and all the rest of them, Jack Black, whoever it was - they’d still be sitting quietly playing the banjo.
E: Hugh Grant
R: Hugh Grant! Was he in that?
E: (laughing) yes
R: Oh my God, he had a narrow escape.
(Emma laughing)
R: Handsome Virgo Hugh Grant (laughing) and a mackerel
E: Handsome Virgo Hugh Grant narrowly escapes Robyn Hitchcock’s mackerel (laughing)
R: Well that was that famous thing that he got done for on, just up the road on Sunset about thirty years ago
E: Yeah, mackerel
R: Yeah, he done having a mackerel in a car with somebody.
(Emma laughing)
R: Now. Have Elvis Costello say that! (laughing) And tonight I found a mackerel, tonight’s emergency host is Elvis Costello! Hugh Grant is trapped in a car with another fish that we can’t mention. It’s awful isn’t it?
(both laughing)
R: It just completely goes on all the time! Do you want to make some tea? (loses it laughing)
R: Christ. Have we done enough?
E: She brought me a mackerel!
R: She brought me a mackerel!
(both die laughing)
R: (sings) Oooh she brought (talks) Sorry, that’s a reference to one of my, my mad Costello….
E: You don’t need to explain the joke (laughing)
R: Can we tell them about my niece not giving Hugh Grant the right….
E: Mackerel
R: Yes (laughs) my niece works in a coffee shop in London, and Hugh Grant comes in, and she won’t give him a mackerel
E: You didn’t tell me this!
R: Oh, didn’t you know about that?
E: No!
R: Oh Christ, she…oh, she…he comes in…
E: Hugh Grant comes into Rose’s coffee shop?
R: Yeah he does, and he goes in with…actually I probably shouldn’t say all this because it’s sub judice (he says sub judikay lol). Now this is, it’s not really personal stuff - sometimes he goes in with a flounder, sometimes he goes in with a trout, and sometimes he goes in with a mackerel. Got me!
E: Oh God, you’ve lost me. I think it’s time for me to leave.
R: Oh have we done that….
E: We haven’t even sung the song!
R: Oh let’s do this!
E: All we’ve done is talk about mackerel for 7 minutes.
R: Well we’re winning the talking about mackerel prize. If you’re still here, here comes the song - this was also recorded in LA with Jon Brion, and he…what did he do with this one…I think he just….
E: He probably made it sound perfectly recorded and your singing was in tune and all the guitars were lovely
R: ahhhh, I think Ethan Johns was playing the drums.
E: Oh really?
R: Ethan played drums and Jon played bass or something, it was pretty….it was very good. Those days you’d get Ethan Johns with, Jon was recording, Ethan was just thrown in. It was before he became a superstar.