Dad's got something up his sleeve
Melting Arthur's been conceived
I love winter, spring and fall
You I love the best of all

Dad is just a bogus man
Let us get him while we can
In the coal shed when he's high...

One and one and one is three
that's too much for you and me
Arthur is a good boy now
Milks his mum and milks her cow

Woah, on a grey midwinter's morn
Melting Arthur he was born
He grew up extremely nice
Melting hearts as hard as ice
'Cause he loves winter, spring and fall
He loves mother best of all

But the sad thing is to say
Nasty dad gets in the way
His demands become too much
She recoils at his touch
Sleeps out in the rabbit hutch
with Arthur

Nasty dad...
Nasty dad...
Nasty dad(!)

Nasty dad gets jealous, what a drag
Finds them in a sleeping bag
and--though he's only four, it's daft, but--

Dad constructs a special bomb
To blow them all to kingdom come, but
Melting Arthur gets there first
Melts down dad and buys a hearse.

yeah!