That's what happens accidentally when you're in the mood
For a bit of nothing much or even just some food
That's what happened every day between "you say" and between "you do"
That's what happens every second to you

That's what happens unintentionally when you're playing cards
There's a smell of burning and a screeching from the yard
There's a chicken in the chimney, there's a book on what to do
But I've never read it - baby, have you?

So you feel like a dwarf who feels like a king
Yeah, a dwarf has some fun
When there's no one tall to be compared with

That's what happens accidentally when you're on a boat
The sea is full of iron gloves, you wonder how they float
There's a suit of armor eating scampi by your side
When he lifts his visor there's nothing inside

So you look for the scampi
And you feel like a dwarf
Yeah, a dwarf has some fun
When there's no one tall to be compared with

That's what happens accidentally when you're on a train
Everybody's made of glass, you can see right through their brains
When the train goes underwater it gets green and black as night
That's okay, 'cause someone turns on the light
Then the fish all come round, and they stare through the glass
So it's you in the bowl

'Cause there's no one else to be compared with

<Alternates>
That's what happens automatically when you're playing cards  9a
Yeah, the scampi's alright  18a